JOKE FILES

DRUMMERS JOKES

Q: What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?

A: Homeless.

Q: What does a drummer use for contraception?

A: His personality!

Q: What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?

A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.

Q: What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?

A: You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once!

Q: How can you make a drummer slow down?

A: Put a sheet of music in front of him

Q2: How can you make that drummer stop?

A: Put notes on it!

Q: How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?

A: He doesn't know when to come in.

PICCOLO JOKES

Q: How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?

A: Shoot one.

Q: What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo?

A: When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim.

Two musicians were walking down the street and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."

Q: What's the difference between a piccolo and a dog whistle?

1.The what between a piccolo and and a dog whistle.

2.Dog whistles are played by men to attract dogs.

3.If you have good ears, you can hear a dog whistle.

4.A dog whistle irritates only one species.

5.Tuning.

6.In marching band, the dog whistle is dangerous, while the piccolo is merely useless.

7.The price.

8.People with dog whistles usually know how to play them.

9..You can't tune a piccolo

BASS DRUMMER JOKES

Q: What do you call a bass drummer with half a brain?

A: Gifted.

Q:What's the definition of ``nerd?''

A:Someone who owns his owns thier own bass drum..

Q:What do you call a groupie who hangs around and annoys musicians?

A: a bass drummer.

Q:What is the difference between a bass drummer and a terrorist?

A:Terrorists have sympathisers.

Q: How do you know when there is a bass drummer at your front door?

A: The knocking gets faster and faster and faster.

Q: What's the best thing to play a bass drum with?

A :razor blades.

A bass drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. He decides on an accordion and asks to look at some in a music store. The owner gestures to a shelf and says "All our accordions are over there." After browsing the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner." The store owner looks at him and says "You're a bass drummer, aren't you?" The drummer, crestfallen, says "Yes, how did you know?" The owner says "That 'big red accordion' is the radiator."

How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you? You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground